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A Strip For All Seasons

Title: A Strip For All Seasons
Author: vampmissedith
Rating: R (for sexual content, nudity, language)
Warning: Brief canonical huddy, and spoilers for all seasons (including season seven).
Summary: The entire series in thirty seconds.

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Title: Starstruck
Author: vampmissedith
Rating: PG (for one swear word)
Summary: House and Wilson look at the stars.
Notes: This was made with BitStrips

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Couch Potatoes

I told myself I wasn't going to post this, because of its complete lack of plot. And yet . . . *blushes extensively* Blame BitStrips.

Title: Couch Potatoes
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Seriously, there is no plot. Just hearty smut.
Summary: . . . sex on a couch.
Notes: Again, I did this with BitStrips.

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Round One!

Hey, all! My brother made this one.

Title: Round One
Author: My brother.
Rating:: PG (so far) for violence
Summary: And all the watchers say he's pretty spry, for an old guy. *guitar riff*

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Hey all! I made another comic with BitStrips, so I decided to share! There are two parts.

Title: Battlegrounds.
Author: vampmissedith
Rating: PG
Summary: "Do it, then. Shoot me."
Notes: Again, put together with BitStrips.

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Title: XXX
Author: vampmissedith
Rating: PG (despite the title) for sexual innuendo.
Summary: House and Wilson watch porn together.
Notes: This was done with BitStrips.

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My Grandpa is missing!

My grandpa is missing.

He's sixty-nine years old and a Spaniard. He's approximately 5'3" and around 130 pounds with brown hair and brown eyes. Nobody's heard from him or seen him since June 27th, 2011 at 6:30 am. He drives a 1991 maroon Jeep Cherokee with Utah plates license number 652VVA. He is missing his right index finger. His name is Pedro Jara and he speaks English and Spanish. If you see him or his car, or anything at all, please contact me through email or on here, or contact the police.

This picture was taken in 1992.

The one on the right and this was taken in 2000.

The one on the right and was taken in 2000.

Taken in 2000.

Horoscopes by vampmissedith (2/?)


by vampmissedith

Last week!

I will admit, the idea of doing more horoscopes baffled me, seeing as, according to last week's, most of you should have been dead or at least wanting to die due to your inescapable fate. So imagine my surprise when, studying the stars as utter geniuses such as myself often do, I found yet more horoscopes circling around Uranus. Seeing as a very dear friend of mine, in an abusive fit of rage, accidentally shot off his penis rather than his face (warning: utter idiocy cannot be accounted for in my horoscopes nor blamed on me; likewise, any attempt to avert your destiny causing worse disasters is also not my fault--my uncle's sister-in-law's best friend's cousin's aunt's neighbour's lawyer is a lawyer, and he told me as such) I had no reason not to believe that, as I had suspected, my horoscopes were accurate. So why was it that I had found yet more horoscopes?

That is because I, my dear friend, am a Leo.

If you recall last week’s horoscopes, you know that I was destined to attract my hero with my astounding intellect and gorgeousness, and that we would fall madly in love. As I turns out, Robbie Williams is my long-time hero and he, although a mere Aquarius, is also a radiant sunbeam of godliness, despite the fact he’s a bit of a whiner and a hypochondriac. However, we cannot blame him for that--he is, after all, an Aquarius. As I work in the fascinating and industrious field of Dishwashing at the local Elderly Care Centre, often known as the nursing home, I’ve come into contact with a few Huntington’s sufferers--which he, as you recall, contracted at the end of last week. Well, interestingly enough, seeing as he is very gracious and amazing, he came to my nursing home to learn more about Huntington’s and its effects . . . And fell instantly in love with my air of effulgence, most likely due to my effervescent purple faux-hawk.

We fell madly in love, and then we kissed and, as it happens, due to a long-forgotten prophecy that stated that when utter perfection collides into wondrous love and explodes into the grand blah blah Latin blah blah tombs and shit. Something about a vague goddess and the apocalypse. I really didn’t much caribou tit (it’s phonetic bitches) as I got free tickets to concerts and shit (Robbie Williams is so very generous--I only had to rub him and all his little band mates--who are just merely cute in comparison to his Adonis-like visage--with Jell-O and whipped cream) but the fact is, when we kissed, something magical happened--everyone had been cured and resurrected! (Except for deaths not related to the events my horoscope predicted--after all, if your attempts to avoid your fate ended up with you falling of a cliff . . . )

Then of course, Robbie Williams and I had to part ways since, you know, I’m not going to throw away my career as a dishwasher for him.

And thus, this week’s horoscopes begin!

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Horoscopes by vampmissedith (1/?)


by vampmissedith

Seeing as I’m a Leo, my thirst for knowledge and understanding prompted me to truly study and comprehend astrology. The more I learned, the more I loved. Since it’s perfectly believable that every single person who happens to be born during a specific period must therefore have the exact same personality and fate as everyone else, I decided to try my hand at it. After calculating the position of the planets, doing a spell with eye of newt and tongue of ox, not to mention read some tea leaves and slept with a deck of tarot cards before reading the palm of all my relatives, I came up with these conclusions. Don’t blame me, blame the stars. It is, after all, not my fault, or yours, for anything you do. Just blame Jupiter (who was in a very pissed off mood this month).

I would like to thank dissonata, who, as a Taurus, was unrelenting and completely honest in his opinion of my abilities (which are flawless, by the way).

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Title: Caged
Author: vampmissedith
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Charles/Erik
Summary: Erik wonders if Charles feels imprisoned by the wheelchair; caged away like yet another animal at a zoo, only this one, unlike the others, has memories of being free.
Notes: Much thanks to dissonata for being patient with me in this fic. I totally need to stop procrastinating.

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